Tuesday, 26 June 2012

Fashion bin: cut-out swimwear

Sharp swimwear: French Vogue.


There are some fashion items - fascinators, vajazzles, cut-out swimwear -  that are about as much use as the England football team during a penalty shoot-out. What French Vogue is calling 'sharp swimwear' is just complicated, fiddly and too much like hard work. To say nothing of the weird tan lines. As far as I'm concerned, there's nothing sharp about looking like John Terry's paparrazzi-friendly missus on a fake beach in Dubai. An hommage to Helmut Newton, they say, but even with a Brigitte Nielsen physique, you wouldn't, would you?


And as for the Chanel resort 2013 collection, this Marie Antoinette-inspired, one-piece is simply grotesque. Porno chic meets panto. Perfect for Lady Gaga, probably a bit too covered-up for Rihanna. But really. What would Coco say?



There's only one place for it:


15 comments:

Patti said...

I agree that swimwear should not be so taxing. Is that really Brigitte Nielsen? Just wow.

déjà pseu said...

I agree, all of those fussy straps, pffft. All I can think of when I look at that Brigitte Nielsen picture is how UNcomfortable that must be.

mermaid gallery said...

go naked or go home....but all the straps and gear are just goofy...and trying waaaaay too hard.....

Pam @ over50feeling40 said...

I agree and they are so unflattering! Not necessary for any reason.

Vix said...

Black swimwear is never flattering and that's doubly hideous. Definitely one for the bin. x

mette said...

Horrible. Same goes with strings as panties.
However, I have seen lots of gorgeous, flattering one piece swimsuits.

Victoria said...

Totally agree. Horrible.

styleodyssey said...

Bondage-y swimwear, uh, no. They're too faux-stylish, trying too hard, etc. And as you say, a challenge to put on, all those straps and holes.

lillyanne said...

I completely agree!

fourseasonsonewardrobe said...

Your post made me smile!

Veshoevius said...

tee hee - it's complete poser swimwear and doesn't belong near a beach - I'd hate to think of coming back from my holiday with tiger stripes after sunbathing in those!

Longuette said...

not really my cup of tea....especially is you want to tan ;-))))

but I have to admit these pictures are gorgeous!

Love, Ylenia from Longuette

Speedway said...

"Complete poser" is putting it kindly. People who really swim would not be caught in anything like that. Since I started to swim 50 years ago, I've always worn a racing suit. They are flattering if one is in shape (I am NOT!), made of supportive fabrics in many attractive colors and prints. (I buy Speedo brand) Sadly, it's hard to find suits in larger women's sizes, or in styles meant for "older" women that don't have padding in the front or some kind of binder in the tummy. The padding in the bra area I think is meant more as a concession to modesty than for support, because there is none. And the binding in the tummy? Well, that's ridiculous because the extra whatever has to go somewhere, doesn't it? So it'll just bulge from the top, or the thighs.

Rosemary Nardone said...

Not at all my taste but I guess to each their own. I don't think it will make you look very classy at all.

Fashion art and other fancies said...

Not my cup of fashion;-)